Follow Your Arrow
by ariamouramara
Summary: A story about a girl who doesn't want to just do what she is told.
1. Chapter 1: Perfect

**This is basically Endless Love meets The Private Lives of Pippa Lee but with Victorious characters. **

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**Cat POV**

_Flash back (6 years old)._

_"Stay still." My mother said as she wrapped the last section of my long stick straight hair around a curling iron. "Your hair is so beautiful Caterina, don't ever change it." she adds with a smile. Mom is super full of energy today. She usually wakes me up at 8 to get ready for Sunday church at 10 but today she woke me up extra early to get me all pretty. I watch her reflection in the mirror as she grabs a silky pink ribbon and ties it into a bow at the back of my head. She is beautiful, my mom. She has long light brown hair like me, all in soft curls. Her skin is paler than mine and her eyes are a pale green, she looks like a fine porcelain doll on days like this when she is happy. She looks at her own reflection now and with a flick of her wrist wraps her hair up into an elegant bun. I hope I look just like her when I'm all grown up. Mom grabs her medicine in the orange and white bottle out of the drawer in her vanity and swallows two white pills. She catches me looking at her and smiles. "What are you looking at Kitty Cat?" she teases as she tickles my sides and I start to giggle.  
I love her. I love her. I loved her._

_Now_

It's May 23rd. The day of my 19th Birthday. I think on that as I look at myself in the gold framed floor mirror. I run a hand threw my golden brown hair that is in loose waves that reach to my belly button. My skin is naturally tan, my hazel eyes are framed by long and full black lashes with bronze shadow, and my lips painted with raspberry lip gloss. I'm short at only 5"1 but my legs look long in my white and tan wedges. I turn quickly to the side and smile at the way my dress flows along with me. The dress is a ivory white with daises on and it almost reaches to my knees. It's sleeveless and tight at the top but looser at the bottom. I pick up a small section of hair by my face and braid it then pin it back. I sigh at my reflection, something still feels missing. I pick up a pair of white and gold daisy shaped earrings and but them on. There. Thats much better.

I'd like to think that my mother would approve.

*Knock. Knock.*

Startled, I look over to the large French doors in my room. "Can I come in?" says a deep voice. I'm about to say yes when my dad and step mom walk in without waiting for my approval. He has a habit of doing that. A wide grin spreads across my step-mom-of-only-a-year, Karen's face. "Oh Caterina, sweetheart you look lovely." she says stepping forward and hugging me. She is a tall blonde woman with pale skin and soft brown eyes, she looks 40 in all of her make up and gaudy jewelry but I know she isn't a day over 35. A whopping 20 years younger than my dad. I return the smile, "Thank you." I say and my dad leans in and hugs me as well. "Happy birthday sweetie. Your so beautiful, just like your mother." my dad whispers in my ear before pulling back out of the hug, I hear a hint of sadness in his voice at the mention of my mom. "Thank you." I repeat a bit softer this time. My dad is a rather short man at 5'8, with a slim build but a slight beer belly he can never seem to get rid of. He has dark hair and deep Mediterranean tan skin and deep brown eyes.  
"Well, lets not keep our guests waiting." my dad says with his grin returning. I make my way out to the party downstairs. It takes a while since our house is so big, dad is the co-owner of Mattel Children's Hospital UCLA in Los Angeles which pays him a 'pretty penny' every year as he puts it, so we've always had nice things I guess. I finally reach downstairs to find a large crowd of people in our dinning room. Most of which are adults, some younger children, a few young people who wen't to my school but I hardly know other than the fact there parents work for my dad, and my older brother Jeremy accompanied with his girlfriend of three years, Jade.  
I'm happy Jade came, I've known her so long now she is practically like a sister, a sister that dates my brother haha. She smiles at me now and rushes over to hug me. "You look pretty Kit Cat." she says teasing me with my childhood nickname.  
"Thanks Jadey, you look great to." I say motioning to her velvety blue dress that matches her eyes and looks kind of business-y at the top but is short and clings to her knees. Jades black hair is down in loose curls that reach just past her shoulders and she is wearing a sparkly silver necklace with a locket that my brother gave her for there one year anniversary.  
"Happy Birthday Cat!" Jeremy says as he hugs me tightly and picks me up slightly off the ground before setting me back down. I laugh and smile up at him. I hadn't seen him in a long while, him and Jade were always traveling together. Jeremy was always trying to get as far as he could from dad. That would change for now since he was staying with us for a month, as well as Jade. Jeremy was surprisingly tall at 6'3, we are only a year apart but he looks so much older than me now. Other than that it's easy to tell were related, we share the same light hair as our mother and tan skin as our father. Greek and French is what we are.

"How have you two been?" I ask them with a raised eyebrow. I glance at Jade's left hand and see there is still no diamond ring on her finger and wonder why, there such a great couple. "Good. Great even. We've been all over the world by now I think." Jeremy says as he grabs Jade's hand. "Paris is amazing, you should really come back with us next time. Take a break from all of this." Jade says gesturing to the house. I see the worry for me hidden in her eyes. They've been trying to get me out of this house ever since my mom passed two years ago. It had been really hard on me and my dad, somehow he seemed to move on and remarry only a year latter yet here I am still stuck. Trying to forget what I went threw with my mom. Reminded constantly that she is gone and that I never got to tell her I forgive her.  
I smile at Jade and nod. "That sounds fun." I say and she smiles back at me suppressed by my agreement.

"Cat!"

I turn around to see a tall skinny boy with curly dark hair and thick black glasses making his way over to me. "Hey, Robbie." I say as he awkwardly hugs me. Our height difference makes me have to tilt my head up to look into his blue eyes as he speaks. "Happy Birthday." he says grinning and handing me a small red box. I smile and look at the gift. "You didn't have to-"  
"Oh no, I insist!" Robbie interrupts. I sigh and gently take the gift out of his hand. It would be rude of me to refuse it since technically were dating now. He had always liked me and my mom said I should give him a chance, I wonder if me being with him now would make her happy. I untie the ribbon on the box and lift the lid to reveal a sparkly diamond ring.

By now I've bitten my inside cheek so hard its bleeding. Oh, God. He is proposing isn't he? I feel a pang in my chest and I'm sure I might through up. I can hardly breath by the time I look at Robbie. "It's... beautiful." I say trying to smile. Oh, no. Oh, no. I'm not ready.

Robbie is smiling at me but I don't try to meet his eyes, I just stare at the little ring. "Yeah, I saw it and thought of you." he says cooly, "Lets go eat." he adds before grabbing my hand. I let out a sigh of relief. He didn't propose. Thats good. Right? Suddenly I'm wondering why he didn't. No. No. Don't be silly. We've only been dating a few months and I don't love him. At least not in a I-wanna-be-with-you-forever way. Mom would be disappointed. The thought of her makes me suddenly feel like crying. "I think I'm gonna go get some air real quick." I say before un-lacing our fingers and wiping of his sweat from them. "I'll come with you." He says about to follow. "No, stay here. I just need a moment." I say quickly before making my way to the balcony.

I quickly close the glass doors behind me and turn back to face the ocean. I grab the rail and take a deep breath trying to fight back tears as the memories flooded my mind.

_Flash back (16)._

_"Don't you wonder why my mom is always like that?" Jeremy says looking at me in disbelief. "Like what?" I ask as I bring my feet up to my chest. I look at my mom now as she hurriedly scrubs the kitchen floor on her hands and knees for what must be the 3rd time this week. "Like a damn maniac!" Jeremy whispers loudly to me shaking his head as he changes the channel on our TV again. I know Mom's always been a little different, like in the way she hardly ever sleeps. She gets the mood swings a lot, like you never know what side of her your going to get each day. The happy energetic side I've looked up to since I was a little girl who insists that we don't need a maid even though our house is too much work for her, or the depressed angry side she gets every now and then. "I bet it's those pills she takes. I bet it's like crack or something." Jeremy adds as he flicks the channel for the hundredth time now. I turn to look at him to see if he is serious and shake my head, "Mom's fine. Nothings wrong with her." I say defensively as I get up and walk into the kitchen. Mom is still scrubbing the floor so I sit up on the counter to stay out of her way. I glance at the familiar orange and white bottle of pills on the counter by the sink and pick it up. '__Levothyroxine' is all it says on the label and I don't even try to pronounce the name. "Mom, why do you take this stuff?" I ask looking over at her._

___Her head lifts up and she starts to stand up. "Put that back please." she says before taking of her yellow rubber gloves she uses to clean. I obey and turn back to her and wait for a response. "Well its for my thyroid. You know that. It's so I don't get fat." she says with a small laugh. I wrinkle my forehead at her. "Jeremy says it makes you act differently." I say. Mom looks offended by this. "Well what do you want? It helps me stay awake so I clean this dame house. I'm sure not getting help from anyone else! Why doesn't anyone help me around here!" she yells angrily and throws her gloves down to the floor. "I'm sorry-" I start but she cuts me off.  
"What? Now you wan't me to stop taking them? So I can blow up like a whale!?" she yells and now she is crying and she gets back down on her knees. I join her on the ground and try to comfort her but she burst into tears and loud sobs any ways. "I'd still love you no matter what you looked like mom. Just please stop taking them." I say lifting her head up. "I wanna see what your really like. Without them." I say and after she nods ever so slightly. I smile and hug her.  
_

___Her sobriety lasted a week._


	2. Chapter 2: Happy Birthday

**So there are some questions out there about whats going to happen in this story but I'm sorry I can't tell you. I don't even know the answer to some of the questions yet myself!  
Now this next flashback is kinda confusing. Cat's basically recalling all the dinners they had leading up to Christmas. How at each dinner her mom was acting crazier and crazier throughout the year and she couldn't take it anymore. Idk if that explains much. Maybe this is one of those stories that makes no sense to anyone else but the author ha ha ha.**

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**Cat**

_Flashback(16, Febuary-Christmas Eve)_

_My whole family is sitting at the big dinning table. Mom and dad across from each other and me and my brother on each side. Were getting ready to say grace and my father starts, "Thank you father for this food, and given me the gift of this family-"  
"My beautiful children around me!" mom interrupts grabbing me and Jere's shoulders.  
My mother's cold turkey lasted exactly one week.  
Watching her now at the table she was hysterically laughing and trying to hold it all in as my father finished his prayer. "Who is the president? Doesn't anyone know who the president is?" she says laughing at herself. "Jeremy, I think we all know its lawnmower day tomorrow." my dad jokes, both ignoring my mothers behavior as she fell into more hysteria.  
__**Imagine a dinner like this that wen't on for a whole year.**__ Mom's crying now. __**She was taking more and more of the stuff.**__ Mom looks seemingly at nothing angrily. __**I never knew who she was going to be from one minute to the next.**__ Mom looks at me and smiles. I hold her gaze for a moment before angrily getting up from the table and dashing up the stairs."Cat?"I hear my dad yell after me but no one follows.  
I run into my mothers room and open up the drawer at her bedside._

_ First one.  
No._

_Second one.  
__No._

_Third one.  
__Bingo._

_I pull out all of the bottles bottles my mom poorly hid in her knitting kit, and with shaky hands empty the contents of the first one. Without thinking I swallow the tiny pills. Its hard to do since there are so many and I choke on them for a second. I look at myself in her mirror and see I'm crying. If she won't quit for herself, she will for me._

_*loud music playing*  
I'm dancing in my room, my hair in my face and I'm nocking things over but I don't care. I feel like I have so much energy that to stop moving and stay still is beyond impossible. I'm laughing. Why am I laughing? Whats so funny again? The music gets quitter and I turn to see my mom standing in the doorway. "Whats going on in here miss?" she asks with crossed arms. "Mom. Come dance with me mom." I say and the voice hardly sounds like mine. I reach out and grab her arms. "What is going on?" she says without fighting back. "I just need you to dace with me okay?" I say and I'm crying now but I don't know why. I'm hugging her and swaying and she is trying to calm me down. "It will be our little secret now ok?" I say laughing into her shoulder. "What are you talking about?" she asks pulling back to see my face. "Now we can both be high together." I say as if it's a good thing. "What? You took my medicine. How much did you take?" she asks. "I don't know. It's okay though mommy. I love you." I say crying again. "I love you." I repeat over and over in-between hiccups. My mom tucks hair behind my ears trying to calm me again. "We just can't tell your dad about this okay?" she says worriedly. I stop crying and pull back to look at her. For a moment I just stare at her face, praying she was joking. "Your okay with this?" I ask dully. She nods at me and smiles as if this is all great. _

_I feel anger boiling up inside me as I look at her now. "I'm so sick of you!" I scream pushing her back. Her hand reaches out and slaps me across the face. I look at her angrily ready to scream but she is already screaming first. "I knew you were bad from the day you were born!" she screams as she turns away from me and walks out of my room. I scream and kick my bed. Tears are racing down my face and I keep continually pacing my room before collapsing onto my bed in a fit of whimpers. _

_**She was never going to back down. She was never going to change, even if it meant dragging me down with her.**_

_An hour later I had packed all I could carry and climbed out my bedroom window._

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"Are you alright miss?"

This voice snaps me out of my... is there a proper word for having a nightmare during the day? Daymare? I look down at my aching hands that have been gripping the metal rail on the balcony too tightly and are all red. I sniffle and quickly wipe hot tears off of my cheeks. I turn to face the guy speaking to me. He is tall and muscular, with tan skin and longish dark brown hair. He is rather attractive in his black suit. In a James Bond meets Zac Efron in '17 Again' kind-of-way.  
"I'm fine." I say quietly trying to smile at him. He gives me look that says 'no your not' but he doesn't question me about it. "Okay," he says putting his hands up jokingly,"It's your party, you can cry if you want to."  
I laugh slightly at his remark and he grins back at me. He looks so familiar but I can't place my finger on why. Suddenly it hits me who he is. "Didn't you go to the same high school as me? Beck Oliver right?" I ask looking at him in a new light. He was the school bad boy, our paths never really crossed before since I had been terribly shy back then, always had too many problems at home for friends I guess. Beck raises his eyebrows and gestures to himself. "You? Caterina Valentine? Actually remember me?" he says in fake shock. "I'm honored." he jokes. I laugh again and he looks pleased that he made me smile again. "More like how could you possibly remember me?" I reply, why would a guy like him know who I was?  
Beck looks at me suddenly a bit more seriously but he is still smiling. "Your beautiful. How could I forget you?" he says and I can't help but blush. "What are you doing here anyways?" I ask glancing threw the glass door, I find it funny that none of my gusts have noticed that there host is missing. "I'm the help." he says gesturing to his shiny silver name tag that said 'Weightier: Oliver' in fancy writing. "How glamorous." I tease. "Well I guess I should get back to the party." I say turning to face the glass door again. "Yeah, I mean it is your party." Beck jokes and I smile again. "Maybe we could hangout some time?" he asks looking a little more nervous. "I'd like that." I say happily and for a moment we just both look at each other smiling. "Hows the park at 4 tomorrow?" he asks. "Perfect."

"**Eh hem**."

I jump at the noise and look over to see Jade standing at the door way. "Am I interrupting something?" she asks with crossed arms. "Oh uh-no. Jade this is Beck-" I start to say feeling flustered. "Oh I know who he is." Jade says in a slightly harsh tone but a wicked smile spreads across her face. Beck looks from her to me clearly confused. "Now come on Cat, their about to cut your Birthday cake!" she says grabbing my arm. "Bye-" is all I can manage to say before I'm being pulled into a crowed of people by Jade. "There you are!" my dad says laughing and placing a hand on my shoulder when I reach him. My brother wheels over my giant red velvet cake covered in lavender colored frosting and decorated with pink and white flowers that spell out 'Happy Birthday Cat!'.

Then everyone starts to sing Happy Birthday and I blow out 19 candles.  
My wish is the same every year since I was 5 years old.  
I wish to be perfect.

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I'm in on my bed reading, freshly showered and changed into a yellow tank top and pink shorts with cupcakes on them, when Jade knocks on my bedroom door. "Come in." I yell.

"Oh my God!" She says accusingly but with a smile on her face. "I can't believe your cheating on Robbie!" she says in a weirdly happy way. "What?! No I'm not!" I say feeling a little insulted. "I mean I couldn't really blame you for leaving puppet-boy for Mr. Calvin Klein underwear model wanna be." Jade jokes. "Don't insult Robbie!" I say defensively. She puts her hands up and sighs, "My bad." she says. I sigh feeling slightly stressed by the situation. Did I accidentally agree on a date with Beck tomorrow? I wanted to tell Jade about it but the thought of her reaction made my stomach turn.

"Beck is hot though." she says to break the tension. I laugh, "Hey! You can't say that! Your dating my brother!" I joke pushing her lightly. "Alright! Alright!" she says laughing. "Now lets watch a movie." she says turning the TV in my room on and plopping down next to me on my bed. "Oooh lets watch The Notebook!" I say smiling, glad to have the attention off me. "Hmm. No. Were watching The Scissoring 2." Jade replies. Which honestly, I should've seen coming.

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**So yep, thats this chapter. Wrote this really quickly so sorry for any typos. **


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